Текст песни Suicide (Bobby Gaylor) с переводом

Animals don’t have a choice

If they’re not happy with their place in the world… too bad

They have to live the life they’ve been given

Humans, on the other hand, don’t have to

We have a choice

If you don’t like your place in the world, you can get off anytime you want

Suicide. That’s right

You don’t like the way your life’s going

You don’t like the way you are in the world

Anything around you, you can check out anytime you like

Animals aren’t allowed that thought

And believe me, if they were, they would use it

There’d be a lot of dogs and cats, owned by assholes

That live in high-rises, diving out the windows

Zebras… if they even had remotely that thought

Would take a look at themselves and go, «What the fuck!»

Black & white in a green & brown world… this blows

I’m just gonna jump in the river…

I don’t have a thumb to work a gun or hold a knife

Or even open a jar of pills

I’m just gonna dive into the next lion’s mouth

Why even bother?"

Now, monkeys have the opposable thumb

So they could kinda do it the exact same way we do

Now, there’s a bunch of people that say

«Oh, it’s against the law»

Well, it’s only against the law if you do a crappy job and get caught

Other people say, «Oh, we should save them»

Yeah, well you know what?

Not everybody wants to be saved

Not everybody should be saved

And who are we to force our will upon them?

I mean, isn’t that one of the joys about being a human?

Freedom of choice?

Now, it’s not all bad

Now, I’m not saying «Kill yourself»

But if you’re gonna be an idiot and do it anyway

It’s no sweat off of my back

There’s a lot of good that could come from it

A little bit of bad thrown in

Some of the things:

A job will open…

An apartment will become available…

There’ll be more air for me…

They say there’s two girls for every guy — if you’re a man, there’ll be four

chicks for me…

There’ll be more Ketel One vodka for me…

There’ll be one less idiot in line at the bank who gets up to the window

without their fucking slips filled out…

I won’t ever have to go to the store to buy my favorite Salt & Vinegar Chips

and have the clerk point at you and say, «They bought the last bag»…

You won’t help change the McDonald’s sign to a Hundred Billion Served…

You’ll never get AIDS…

You won’t have to worry about calories ever…

No more, «Hey, does this make me look fat?»…

There’ll be one less polluting human…

You won’t have to recycle… There’ll be one less car on the road…

There’ll be more Ring Dings for me…

Fifty or so chickens' lives will be spared…

Your fingers won’t ever get red from eating pistachios…

You won’t be forced to visit your Grandparents on Sundays anymore…

No more church…

You’ll be saying, «Hey, World — Kiss My Ass!»…

No more wet dreams about Supermodels…

No more Barry Manilow… Not for a few years anyway…

Wondering «Am I a loser?» will be a thing of the past…

Say good-bye to crappy Xmas presents from Aunts and Uncles…

You won’t have to suffer through a Motley Crue reunion…

Fuck flossing and brushing…

You’ll never lose sleep over a pregnancy scare…

Adios, Acne…

Worrying whether you fit in or not won’t be on your brain…

See ya later, homework…

You’ll never have to sit through another movie brought to you by the creators

of South Park…

School’s out forever…

No more paying bills…

You won’t have to do chores…

You won’t be able to run over toads with the lawnmower though…

You’ll also miss McDonald’s French Fries…

Bugs Bunny…

The amazing electrifying feeling that surges through your body when you kiss

someone for the first time…

You won’t be able to watch the letterbox director’s cut of Jaws…

Candy…

Living above ground…

Pudding crust…

You’ll miss the rush of getting your first apartment…

Getting to the point in your life where you can tell your parents to

«Fuck Off! I gotta make my own mistakes, you did»…

You’ll miss sex — you’ll miss thinking about it, looking for it

Sex by yourself, sex with a partner, sex with multiple partners…

No more summer nights that seem to go on forever…

Roller coasters…

Naming your kid the name you always wanted…

Making a difference in the world…

You’ll miss the experience and pleasure of Hallucinogenics…

Watching your neighbor’s wife change clothes with her blinds open…

A lifetime of masturbating…

Watching your favorite team sweep the series…

Music, you will definitely miss music…

Trying to sneak into your house drunk — three hours past your curfew…

You’ll miss the blaze and glory of the 4th of July fireworks…

The taste of Captain Crunch…

If you’re a boy, you’ll miss the feeling the first time you reach up a girl’s

shirt…

If you’re a girl, the feeling the first time you reach down a boy’s pants…

You’ll miss your favorite coat…

Waffles with whipped cream and strawberries…

Beating your friends at video games…

You won’t be around to see what shape and color the new marshmallow in Lucky

Charms will be…

You’ll miss the feeling you get when reminiscing about your first love — thirty

years after the fact…

The joy of giving and receiving at Christmas…

Skinny dipping…

Getting stoned, reading Green Eggs & Ham, and eating like a horse that got

loose in the grain bin…

Flying cars…

Hey, you were born, finish what you started!