Текст песни She's Ovulating (Baba Brinkman) с переводом

She’s ovulating — if she was a stripper

I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her

She’s ovulating — she’s dressed so provocative

My histocompatibility complex is majorly

Intoxicating — girl, I’m so symmetrical

But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill

Instead of ovulating — I’m not tryin' to conceive with you

But right now something makes me wanna be with you

You want a job done fast, you want a job done cheap

You want a job done well, you gotta pick two out of three

‘Cause the price goes up when demand swells

So if your contractor has skills, he pads his bills

And if you don’t like it, build the porch your damn self

Fast and cheap and headed for the landfill

And it might sound ruthless, but what’s true for

Someone trying' to get their roof fixed, is true for sex

And not just human sex, the cost of mating

Is a price that evolution sets

‘Cause high-value mates are always in demand

But there’s a bit of an imbalance between a woman and man

How come? Because of the outcome

Alright, let’s make a deal — I’ll give you an ounce of spunk

And one night of childish fun, and you give me

Nine months of your life, and when the child comes

It takes a few decades to show the kid how it’s done

Oh, what, you want help? Um…

Yeah, I have a few ounces of spunk left to spread around, hon

You know, ninety-nine problems, but this ain’t one

What? The deal’s off? Why? Just ‘cause you’ve got

Fifty other guys tryin' to undercut the price?

Just because you’re contributing hundreds of times

More resources to this otherwise equally shared enterprise?

Okay, fine, what’s your counter-offer then?

You want me to promise never to sleep with another woman again

As long as I live? And if I did? Oh, what, you’d probably forgive

As long as I didn’t fall in love with her

And have a bunch of other kids — oh, what, there’s more?

You also want me to invest every possible resource

In you and the kids, and pay for education and team sports

And shit? What do I look like, a fuckin' seahorse?

Oh, what, you’ll do the same, huh? Well, you kind of have to

It’s your limitations that I’m trying to adapt to

You’re not the one with the potential to inseminate

The entire planet if only you had the chance to, yeah, thank you

Yeah, me and every other guy, right, yeah, I get it

Our resources are worthless, because they’re practically unlimited

Which puts us in a shit negotiating position

Like slave labour in the insemination business

She’s ovulating — if she was a stripper

I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her

She’s ovulating — she’s dressed so provocative

My histocompatibility complex is majorly

Intoxicating — girl, I’m so symmetrical

But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill

Instead of ovulating — I’m not tryin' to conceive with you

But right now something makes me wanna be with you

Alright, I have one final card to play before we make deal

You know, every ounce of spunk is not created equal

Some of it will give you smarter kids, some of it will give you

Hardier kids whose immune systems give them longer to live

And you have this fertility cycle that gives you subtle clues

About who to choose, so this is all just a ruse

To convert my mating effort into parental solicitude

Oh, what am I gonna do about it? Well, there’s nothing I can do

But it’s true! ‘Cause you don’t make it simple like a chimp, no!

You could have evolved a pink swollen genital symbol

Advertising your fertility window, but no!

And I know why too! It’s to keep a guy limbo

You’re so deceitful, I don’t believe it!

It’s like you have a biological non-disclosure agreement

To maintain your competitive edge and get repetitive sex

From the same guy long enough to see your genetic relatives fledged

‘Cause if I knew exactly when you were ovulating

Well then good luck negotiating any long-term arrangements

But you don’t even know, that’s the impressive bit

Yeah, but can you pin it down without arithmetic?

She’s ovulating — if she was a stripper

I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her

She’s ovulating — she’s dressed so provocative

My histocompatibility complex is majorly

Intoxicating — girl, I’m so symmetrical

But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill

Instead of ovulating — I’m not tryin' to conceive with you

But right now something makes me wanna be with you

Okay, so you don’t exactly know when it is

But we can measure it and how it affects your preferences

See, I’ve been reading up on you scheming sluts

And there’s a method to your madness, and yeah, it’s devious

What changes is your preference for specific traits

And the relative weight you assign them in potential mates

When you hit peak fertility, suddenly you’re into symmetry

And guys with no resources but high creativity

When just a week before you were all about liquidity

And suddenly now it’s what? Facial masculinity

And fantasizing about infidelity? — Pathetic!

These are obviously adaptations to maximize the genetic

Quality of your offspring at the expense of wannabe

Fathers, who provide the benefits of monogamy

Well I’m onto your little scheme, and I’m gonna put a stop to it

How? My plan is in effect right now

It’s called the «oral contraceptive pill»

And no, it’s not a trick — the benefits are real

Basically it takes everything that makes you adaptively moist

And replaces it all with rational choice

When you’re on it, you can’t smell histocompatibility

So your kids' immune systems might end up a little weak

But think about the benefits, please!

All the non-masculine, asymmetrical men can breed!

And now your infidelity can be about trading-up

Instead of trying to get pregnant by a stud

We can all relate to trading-up, fine, fair enough

It’s just paternity uncertainty that tears us up

‘Cause we understand the facts on the ground

It’s kind of like hiring a contractor for your house

You can’t get it done well and fast, and cheap

You almost always have to choose two out of three

And ladies, it seems like the man of your dreams

Has good resources, good behaviour, and good genes

But unless you’re name happens to be Angelina Jolie

You might just have to choose two out of three

Just be careful who you choose when you’re pill poppin'

I understand that reproductive choice feels awesome

But if you don’t ovulate then you can’t smell a match

And mismatched relationships just don’t tend to last

She’s ovulating — if she was a stripper

I wouldn’t know why but I’d probably wanna tip her

She’s ovulating — she’s dressed so provocative

My histocompatibility complex is majorly

Intoxicating — girl, I’m so symmetrical

But you can’t tell if you’re on a contraceptive pill

Instead of ovulating — I’m not tryin' to conceive with you

But right now something makes me wanna be with you