Текст песни Jacques Cousteau vs Steve Irwin (Epic Rap Battles of History) с переводом

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

JACQUES COUSTEAU!

VS!

STEVE IRWIN!

BEGIN!

Jacques Cousteau, here to spit flow

Invented SCUBA, captained the Calypso

Palme d’Or winning documenter of the ocean

Ready to battle a desperate, sweaty showman

You’re chunky and soft, you get on my nerves

You’re the only manatee I don’t want to conserve

My Life Aquatic was adventure and beauty

I’m so cool, Bill Murray played me in the movie

I have Oscars! You’re in Doctor Dolittle 2

So run back home to your daddy’s zoo

And just to be clear, ‘cause I’m no veterinarian:

Were you killed by a fish kids pet at the aquarium?

Holy smokes, what a place to go!

You’d need a submarine for a blow that low (Awhh!)

You’d better run! You’d better take cover!

'Cause crikey, I’m going from croc to Jacques hunter!

Have a look at this salty fella:

His face looks like it’s made of pure leather!

Look out! He’s got the body of a naked mole rat

He’s cranky ‘cause he has to wear a Papa Smurf hat

I’m a wild man, you’re a subdued sub dude

The only crocs you could handle are some slip-on shoes

Crikey! You’re such a boring guy

You could make a whole show about the ocean dry

But with the sheilas you sure had fun

Your mistress was as young as your first-born son

You never shoulda stepped to the wildlife defender

Now embrace your French nature and quietly surrender

Talk about sons, better watch what you say now

You almost turned yours into Outback Mistake House!

Would you rather talk about your brother? Ooh boy

Nazi! Nazi! Nazi! Oy yoy yoy!

Enough of your antics and madness!

Contain yourself, like my underwater breathing apparatus

You’re a joke of a bloke in a tacky khaki romper

Go grope a nope rope, Crocodile Humper

There’s a type of snail, recently discovered

And named after you — I’ll eat them with butter!

Hey Skippy The Bush-League Kangaroo

Hold the dee, I’m Crocodile Dun with you!

Where ya goin', fella? Hang on a minute

Like a Joey in a pouch, this ain’t quite finished

Take a look how destructive your old films are

Silent World? More like Silent Worldstar!

If you wanna count fish, please take the reef tour

Don’t go throwin' C-4 on the seafloor

I’m the gold medal rhymer on the podium

Cleanin' you up like a Jacques Custodian (Wooo!)

I’m Mother Nature’s greatest conservationist

When I rock the mic, I’m danger! Danger! Dangerous!

So go back down under with your crew

I just blew through you like a didgeridoo

WHO WON?

WHO’S NEXT?

YOU DECIDE!

EEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!

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