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I am the strange hero of hunger

My girlfriend lives

On the other side of the world

And

Has

Started

Reading

Crime and punishment

By Fyodor Dostoevsky

Do you recognise the main character?

I ask her excitedly

— doesn't he remind you of me?

-i've only just begun

She answers

Whats his name?

-Rodya

But all the characters

Have about 3 different names

I always get confused

And

Can’t tell who is who

Because i’m dyslexic and don’t make sounds for the names

But Rodya is for short

And

His sister is called Runya

Isn’t Dunya a beautiful name?

If little huddie had been born a girl

We would of named her

Dunya

When I talk of the buti

Of girls names

Or the strange bravery

Of artists

Or see

The lite change

Over sea

And sky

Every second impossible showers of

Gold

Turning to terrible hues of purple

And

Black

And

My

Hart rate quickens

Because

I am amongst

My

Own

People

I am

The hero of all my favourite novels

I live in them

And they

Live in me

I am Arturo Bandini

On angels flight

Swearing at a beautiful dark haired girl

In tattered shoes

I am Rodya

Guilty of a terrible and senseless murder

On the streets of St Petersburg

I am the strange hero of hunger

Starving to spite myself in Christiana

I am Johan Nagel

Tormentor of the midget

And suicide

I am Ishmail

Knocker off of tall hats

I am every novelist

And

Every character ever dreamed

I am everyone of my favorite artists

And

I feel myself not one jot less

But equell to all of them

Turner

Munch

Holbine

And

Hokusi

Naturally I have no heros

I am my heros

I am my brothers

And sisters

I feel myself joined by the soul

With all buti

My hart sings with every brave endevor

With the strange wings of impossible butterflys

With every rock that breaths life into the world

I stand shoulder to shoulder with

All denouncers of meaness

I honour spirit and faith

And I uphold the glorious amiture

I am in love with desperate men

With desperate hands

Walking in 2nd hand shoes

Searching for god

And

Hearing god

And hating god

I am a desperate man buckled with fear

I am a desperate man who demands to be listend to

Who demands to connect

I am a desperate man who denounces the dullness of

Money

And status

I am a desperate man will not bow down to acolayed or

Success

I am a desperate man who loves the simplicity of painting

And hates gallarys and white walls and the dealers in art

Who loves unreasonableness

And hot headedness

Who loves contradiction

Hates publishing houses

And

Also I am Vincent Van Gogh

Hiroshige

And every living breathing artist

Who dares to draw god

On this planet

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