Текст песни Australian Yellow Snow (Frank Zappa) с переводом

No, no, don’t eat it

No, no, don’t eat it

No, no, don’t eat it

No, no, don’t eat it

Dreamed I was an Eskimo

Frozen wind began to blow

Under my boots 'n around my toe

Frost had bit the ground below

Was a hundred degrees below zero

And my momma cried:

Nanook! Nanook!

Nanook! Nanook!

Nanook! No no

Save your money: don’t go to the show

And I turned around an' I said:

HO HO

An' the Northern Lites commenced t' glow

An' she looked at me with a tear in her eye

And she said:

WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO

AN' DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW

WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO

AN' DON’T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW

Well right about that time, people

A fur trapper

Who was strictly from commercial

(Strictly Commershil)

Had the unmedicated audacity to jump up from behind my igyaloo

(Peek-a-Boo Woo-ooo-ooo)

And he started in to whippin' on my fav’rite baby seal

With a lead-filled snow shoe. .

I said:

With a lead

LEAD

Filled

LEAD-FILLED

With a lead-filled snow shoe

SNOW SHOE

Peak-a-boo

With a lead

LEAD

With a lead-filled

LEAD-FILLED

With a lead-filled snow shoe

SNOW SHOE

And he said Peak-a-boo

He jumped up from behind my igyaloo

And he said Peak-a-boo

With a lead-filled snow shoe

Right on

Right upside the head of my favorite baby seal

He said Peak-a-boo

With a lead-filled snow shoe

Hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin

You know that got me just about as evil

As an Eskimo boy can be. .

Got me evil as an Eskimo boy can be

So I reached down with my patented Nanook of the North whale blubber mitten

And I scooped down 'n I reached down 'n I bent down

An' I gathered up a generous mitten full of the deadly. .

YELLOW SNOW

The deadly Yellow Snow from right there where the huskies go

And then, in a fit of anger

I pounced

And I pounced again

I jumped up 'n down on the chest of the. .

I injured the fur trapper

And then I took my mitten with

The deadly Yellow Snow Crystals

And I proceeded to rub it all into his beady little eyes

With a vigorous circular motion

Hitherto unknown to Sydney

But destined to take the place of THE MUD SHARK

In your mythology

Here it is, hey!

Really cheap, isn’t it?

God damn, that’s cheap

That’s so cheap we’re gonna do it again. .

That’s enough. Okay

Well, by that time

The extract of the Northern dog

Had induced in the fur trapper

A terrible case of temporary

Snow blindness

And he turned around

And he said:

I CAN’T SEE

(I CAN’T SEE. .. TEMPORARILY)

I CAN’T SEE

(I CAN’T SEE. .. TEMPORARILY)

WHAT IF THERE’S SOMETHING GOOD ON TV

(I. .. I CAN’T SEE. .. TEMPORARILY)

AND I CAN’T SEE

(I. .. I CAN’T SEE. .. TEMPORARILY)

He took a dog. .. a dog-doo sno-cone

An' stuffed it in my right eye

An' he took a dog-doo sno-cone

An' stuffed it in my other eye

An' the huskie wee-wee

I mean the doggie wee-wee

Has blinded me

Temporarily

And, oh, lord, I can’t see

Well here we have a deflicted fur trapper, folks

Wandering around in the middle of the

Desolate Northern wasteland

Can’t tell where he’s going

And he wants to get home in time to watch something good on TV

Well, he doesn’t know it but he’s got a lot of time

But he. .. maybe there’s something that he likes

He has to fix up his eyes before he can watch the television so

Scratches underneath of his parka

Tries to figure out what he’s gonna do

And remembers an ancient Eskimo legend

Where it is, it is written

On the little things that they write it on, whatever they are

That if anything bad ever happens to your eyes

As the result of physical combat

With anybody named Nanook

And if therefore

He rubs some dog doo crystals in your eye

And you have problems

(It actually says this, folks!)

That the only way that you can fix it up

Is you gotta go trudgin' across the tundra. .

Mile after mile

All the way down to the

Columbia River delta

It’s really funky down there, I’m tellin' ya

And he’s gotta go down to find

The parish of Saint Alfonzo

Saint Alfonzo was the patron saint of

The smelt fishermen of Portuguese extraction

And he’s gotta bust into the pantry

At Saint Alfonzo’s parish

And he’s got to locate

A mysterious elixir

Disguised as a box of mar-juh-rene

And his instructions are

To rub it on his deflicted eyes

Until some sort of miraculous cure will take place

In the next episode

We follow the fur trapper as he trudges across the tundra

Direct to Saint Alfonzo’s parish

And it goes something like this. .

Hoopla!

Well, here we are

At Saint Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast

Where I stole the mar-juh-rene

An' widdled on the Bingo Cards in lieu of the latrine

I saw a handsome parish lady

Make her entrance like a queen

Why she was totally chenille

And her old man was a Marine

As she abused a sausage pattie

And said why don’t you treat me mean?

Hurt me (hurt me!), hurt me (hurt me!), hurt me, oooooh!

At Saint Alfonzo’s Pancake Breakfast

(Hah! Good God! Get off the bus!)

Where I sto-o-ole. .

Where I sto-ole. .

Where I sto-o-o-wo-wo-wole. .

Woo woo woo. .

The mar-juh-rene

Yeah, I made it down to Saint Alfonzo’s parish, I did

Made it into the pantry down there

I finally discovered what I was looking for

I groped my way past the peas, and

I groped my way past the asparagus

And I groped my way past the cauliflower

Groped my way and I groped my way

I don’t mind groping my way

And I groped my way and I found the mar-juh-rene

There it was, there was a little left over from the pancake breakfast

Reached in

Pulled out a lump of the stuff

Then I rubbed it on my right hand eye

And I took it and I

Rubbed it on my left hand eye

Started feeling a little bit better

And I contemplated on the mystery and the majesty of the mar-juh-rene

I said to myself the 'M'. .

The 'M' of mar-juh-rene

Must under these circumstances

Symbolize

'Marsupial'

And the 'A' under these circumstances

Must symbolize

The constellation of Andromeda

And the 'R'

Under these circumstances

Must constitute—

'Ridiculous'

Which is what these circumstances actually are!

Then there’s a hyphen

Don’t lose the continuity, folks, there’s a

'M-A-R,' hyphen

And as I said last night

And I’ll say it again because I liked it

The first hyphen in mar-juh-rene

Could be used for erotic gratification

By a very desperate stenographer

'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J'. .

Wha— What’s a 'J' tonight, uh. .

'J' is for Jesus, and we all know he loves you, ha ha ha ha. .

Well, some of you people will go for that and some of you won’t

What’s the difference?

Just thought I’d throw it in. Then there’s a 'U'

That 'U' is for everybody who believes what the 'J' stood for

And also we have a subordinate 'U' for the rest of you who go, «Huh?»

And then there’s an 'H' which stands for

Or used to about two years ago, stand for 'homunculus'

And then there’s another hyphen

'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J-U-H,' hyphen

The second hyphen tonight, ladies and gentlemen

Could be used

Could be used. .

Ha ha ha. .

It could be used on you if you bent right over

And then—if you were very short, of course

And sensitive

'M-A-R,' hyphen, 'J-U-H,' hyphen, 'R'

There’s another 'R'

This 'R' will stand for

'Rebus,' which is a puzzle with pictures in it

Then there’s an 'E'

It’s a very long obnoxious 'E' to the nth degree

And then there’s an 'N'

Which is the 'N' of the 'E' with the nth degree

And then there’s a tiny weeny dwindling-off little 'E' on the end of the thing

By the time I’d finished spelling mar-juh-rene

Correctly, including two hyphens

My eyes felt a lot better and I was ready for the next part of the song