Текст песни 10 Years of Borderlands (Dan Bull) с переводом

Hello, Pandora fans!

Hello, Pandora fans!

Hello, Pandora fans!

We’re riding back to the moon and back

I said, «Hello, Pandora fans!»

We’re riding back to the Borderlands

Every brilliant story begins with a vault

And if this is familiar, well it isn’t my fault

This vault was a rumour

Full of fat loot, sir

Sit back, bun a fat zoot, and let me ask you-uh

What would you do

For such spoils and plunder?

Would you face pain, shame, flame, cold, and hunger?

Assault whole bunkers

Wholly outnumbered?

If you answered «Yes» to all of the above

Then you’re a vault hunter

See? You’re hardly an angel

Leave that to the Guardian Angel

The key to the vault is your grail

Better get the pieces

If you falter, you fail

Your goal is to dwell

In this world and inhale

Up a whole different way of living

Ultimate sell:

With the screws and the nuts and the bolts and the nails

And the rust and the dust and the road and the rail

This is Paradise Lost, and you’re going to Hell

With eighty seven bazillion volts in your tail

Now let me tell the revoltingest tale

Full of mudslinging, salt, and betrayal

Hop on the carousel

And keep a hold of yourself

‘Cause the slower you roll

Then the colder the trail

Oi, Patricia Tannis, can you tell us what the plan is?

Cause it’s as if we cannot trust anybody on the planet

You’re a helluva fierce woman

Helena Pierce

Couldn’t tell if your tears

We’re really steaming your goggles

But not everything is as it appears

As your Pandora peers

We should have seen you were trouble

See, now you’ve got the Vault Key

Seems your plan’s faulty

It’s about to be stole by the Crimson Lance

Oh Jeez

So who’s the vermin agent

That’s commanding them to steal?

Got to be nominative determination

It’s Commandant Steele

It’s time to clap back

So I call up Clap Trap

He’s like, «What's that in the back?»

This track slaps; it’s like crack

You can’t get enough of it

Couple lines of filler

Dripping bars for the uff of it

To flourish here, got to be hard

Toughen up a bit

Borderlands is my jam

And I’m loving it

Giving no fucks

Open that vault up

Hold up, something’s holed up

Woah, oh fuck!

Stop the clocks

The status quo is broken

Stop all the clocks

Pandora’s Box is open

Stop the clocks

The status quo is broken

Stop all the clocks

Pandora’s box is open

Whoops!

You popped the vault’s cherry

Unsettling what was all buried

Scary monsters, got to get rid of ‘em

What’s left?

A big bukkake of eridium

Ready for the clean up

By even badder criminals

How can you beat them

You don’t even have the minerals?

You’re dealing with the pinnacle: trust

Killing all you little fools: minimal fuss

Hyperion, he’s really running militantly tyranny

By getting the eridium

By any necessary means

It’s Handsome Jack

With the rapid expansion

Got to keep topping that financial stack

So let’s cancel that

Take his mansion back

Have him living in a council flat

No sanctuary, nah this is our domain

Safe space from which we dish out the pain

Crimson raiders kill invaders

Been doing this thing for ages

Like it isn’t dangerous

Didn’t think our little angel traitorous

‘Til the day that she betrayed us

Base incinerated, but then Lilith saved it

‘Cause it is a spaceship

This is just the beginning page

Good gracious!

What an outrageous play, Mr Shakespeare

Who the heck’s stepping up next to the stage?

It’s…

A young lady, you might have seen her

She’s a pyromaniac, it’s Tiny Tina

About as far from a ballerina

You could find, serving up havoc

Like supoenas

Now we’re really getting manic with the beer bellied mechanic

And it’s Ellie twisting spanners like Tagliatelle metallic

And everybody who inhabits the planet’s

In panicked shock

Except perhaps one man: that’s Sir Hammerlock

Have a look through the binoculars

His lens even blurrier than Oculus

Got arms all around like an octopus

Stop popping off shots at the populace

And now Moxxi’s mad

I’ll have what she had

Unless it’s OxyContin

I do not need that

She’s a cosplay hottie: fact

But how’s anybody going to top these hats?

Never mind that, got to stop these prats

So fucking give us back that Vault Key, Jack

Better not wake up that Rock Creature

For a handsome man, you’re an ugly chap

Well imagine my shock

Final boss: beat that

Clichéd ending, predictable plot piece: ah!

Wait a fricking minute, look, what’s this map?

No rest for the wicked, huh?

Cut to black

Seems time has stopped

Tock tick

Rewind the clocks

Tock tick

T-minus nought

Tock tick

Lunar tick

Back to the moon and back

Off to the moon and it’s full of lunatics

Scavs, miners, archaeologists, and fugitives

The lifestyle under Dahl’s rather punitive

Inclusively, like a unisex crucifix

And this human intervention was the Eucharist

Mother Nature doesn’t take to getting two fingers

In the crater, like you wouldn’t lose your shit

So as soon as it went boom and split

The crackening was happening and Jack?

He knew to get to the tip

Then he’d have to become ruthless

Under the tutelage of an abusive bitch

But he got used to it

Gave it a new twist

Like people who call «nuclear», «nucular»

So close, yet removed from the nucleus

No nuclear family, youth was unhappy

Reduced him to angry

Then dude killed his granny

Established a pattern

He whacked off his manager

But not by wanking

No, Jack toppled Tassiter

Grabbing his throat, he strangled the bastard

Look, still got his trophy goatee

Have a look!

Now he’s shacking up in Helios

That nobody covets so much as the Legion does

They capture it, Jacks' a bit miffed

Understandably

So he sends some mercenaries into low gravity

Ramming deep down underground: cleaning cavities

Like a gang of dentists

Sent to depravity

Yeah, he might be training up an army of robots

But if they’re not harming you, so what?

Don’t knock!

It’s not notable enough to remark upon

So shut up, lock targets on Zarpedon

Then choose to pop open that vault

If you don’t know Jack

That’s your own damn fault

Watch the clock

Tick tock tick tock

Watch the clock

What time you clocking off?

Watch the clock

Tick tock tick tock

Sleeves up, watches off

Rhys’s peace is about to crack

When he sees a key up for grabs on the black market

I’ll take that, thank you, thank you

Now Rhys is a man bankrupt

Bad luck

Damn, if only he’d have known

It was bogus: a phony, a hoax

He’d have ganged up

With Fiona the Chancer

She knows every scam ever wrote

In the damn book

Going to get, going to get

Going to get that money back

But I can’t get you out of my head

Not funny, Jack

Progress is slower than a tortoise walks

Until the Gortys Core

Showed them vaults galore

Shore to shore

I’m sure I said already but I’ll say again

So many, there’s a smorgasbord

Awkward dork

But when you’re hijacked by Jack

Both boys and girls will be behind

Like a bike rack

I don’t want to be Handsome Jack’s puppet

So there’s only one answer; that’s fuck it

Bring the whole thing down

Crashing to the surface

Looking back

Life now has a bigger purpose

Cash is fracking worthless

Unless it can be spent

Fed up of living life

At like seventy percent

Hope you’re ready for the next episode

Oi, oi, oi, oi

Smoke skags every day

But wait, there’s more!

Gracious lord

We’ve awakened an ancient force

Lilith and the raiders

Have brought the vault map

But Dahl have attacked

And they won’t pull back

Dropping gas

Whole place getting jacked

Like The8thHawk

Better get away

And escape with a phasewalk

Save Vaughn from infected bandits

So we can gather samples

And invent the antidote

Tannis isn’t at a level

At which she can master this

So Cassius asks them

If they’ll acid trip

To the mountain

But who’s that? Talon!

Mordecai’s in trouble

Get the Moonshot Cannon

Ramming into Helios

So get packing

To meet a boss we believe is from Saturn

Take pieces of it

Yeah, pull them out of Uranus

The power contained within

It’s bloody outrageous

I guess this infection’s affecting us a lot

Being heckled by Hector

Is messing up the plot

Better stop that man while we can

While we’ve got a chance

Because his plants are buggering up our plans

Just look at his lab

It’s full of failed experiments

Hypothesis: What a prick, here’s the evidence

Now Cassius is overcome with nastiness

So perhaps the vaccine is within his ass

In fact it is

Let’s get extracting it

And then go back to Sanctuary

The place stinks like an outdated pack of anchovies

Lilith goes ham, completely tearing up the place

Borderlands need saving

For yet another day…