You know,
For a while I felt like I lived in some dystopian nightmare
Where, sort of, everything, and everyone, I cared about
Was reappropriated by some kind of wimp Stalinist, super-bougie, fake populist,
two dates to the prom, snake oil salesman, prosumer, alternate reality.
And it was using my life, and my people, and my love to convince the world
about how real it was. Give it comfort that it’s having an authentic experience.
But it’s not «for real. It knows it’s not for real. That’s why it has time to
tinker with it.
Like gremlins, they wish it actually was what they believe is some desirable or
attainable representation of reality, so they just assemble it to appear to be.
Like perverted workshop elves.
I probably do the same thing, but I’m not jazzed about it.
But, what I’m saying is, it’s not about material-material stuff,
proving that car is real, or my hand is real. It’s taking abstract things,
emotions, experiences, and throwing down some smoke bombs and a strobe light,
and telling me they’re real or made, and owned by somebody, IE this guy,
and Dr. Lifestyle-Coach-Party-Dad's got my two tickets to paradise.
You know, you got pick from some «stupid list/endless feeling choice buffet» of
what people can relate to, but the options have become more real than
whatever’s going on with the person choosing them.
And I’m off menu. I can’t do anything about it. Do you know what I mean?
These choices are meaningless to me. It’s like, we have all the most yellow
breads and cheeses for your soul’s vegetarian diet.
And, yeah, I know, it’s not a new idea or anything: commercials, advertisement.
Blah blah. Kill your TV. Facebook. Obama.
But, do we really need to do this to EACH other now? Like existential
entrepreneurial sociopaths? Have we ran out of so many worlds to conquer that
now we just take turns brain-colonizing each other?
I mean, is there any other way, because I feel really gross about it?
You know, just anyway besides re-ordering a bunch of other people’s memories
and then sending them back some VIP invitation to their own life?
Or just selling some new extra steps for validation by generating buyer’s
remorse and then absolving it for dollars, and thenbeing a baby about it while
getting paid.
Sounds kind of demoralizing, right. Might make it easy to buddy with the
darkness if I was that demoralized. Might make it rational.
Pragmatic.
Responsible.
Gremlins, they hate when your kisses blow one at a time. You know,
because they’ve «accepted» that you got to be like that. Think like that.
Like it’s some kind of mature adult compromise, but I don’t know,
that kind of vaudeville parlor trick is like they read the Wikipedia for The
Prince and just grew their bangs out. Made the world their dad, and make a
diamond waiting on their allowance. All pouty, punching the clock at the
Realness Factory.
How come they don’t have that level of cynicism or blow my brains out at the
dinner table-contrarian table talk for their own Keebler life-vomit.
Because they hate when kisses blow one at a time because it doesn’t say
anything about a systemized world. It just says something about their life.
About your life.
Who gets to decide the way the world works? Some idea? Or one at a time?
Or some idea made by a few jerk-off's one at a time?
These guys, they want to get paid to slip in their idea every time you could do
your one at a time.
Imply you’re one at a time is meaningless because it’s one at a time,
and then ask for a dollar, so you can feel good about the choice they took
away from you because that’s just the way the world works because they’re your
witness.
Yeah, you’re going to need a sweet release if you really believe that you’re
just supposed to eat it. For breakfast. Everyday. That you can only choose
between total anonymity and total witness.
Or, I don’t know, you could just love somebody. Or know somebody. Directly.
And push out all the little jaded teenage-grown up gremlins trying to cram
their paycheck into all the social space that’s yet to be monetized into a
theme park.
You know, and they can give me People Points every time they get another bit of
my space, so I can get my mohawk pierced or whatever. Botox my dog.
But I’m not into the trade-off, it’s not a reward for me, and I worry I have to
do it to be able to work.
Not in a «I don’t want to be an adult, I wish I could just escape it all and be
a baby again» kind of way, but in a «am I going to have to act like this to
another person to be able to survive» kind of way.
Because if I do, I’m just doing time on another planet. A teenage planet.
And that planet’s got to decide to grow up again, or it’s just going to end up
hiring some really crazy Skynet meets Mussolini father figure with no body hair.
Like:
«I can wear whatever I want but I got tazed and lobotomized for walking too
fast at the people store. And now I have to fire the t shirt cannon at the book
burning inside my 1000 year mind-prison or the banks going to take my baby’s
avatar.»
And yeah, I would be a gloomy, everything’s kind of B.S., so whatever I’m just
making it, elitist underdog, grown-up teenager too if I believed any of that
stuff. But I don’t.
I don’t believe any of that stuff. I’m not convicted about it you know.
I don’t see why that’s any more rational than saying I want to be a human.
A variable. A human variable. On a teenage planet.
Really, I just don’t want to be some nostalgia raffling stooge for the
googlable authoritarian capitalist nightmare future that might not happen, but,
you know, maybe I am
Maybe we all are.
I don’t know, am I trying to sell you something right now?
I don’t even know anymore, but I’m going to keep trying to figure it out.
TanyaRADA пишет:
- спасибо! От Души!!! ( Улыбаюсь...)все так!!!Liza пишет:
Любимая песня моей мамы