Текст песни Balance (Maximillian Colby) с переводом

One

Testimony in trials that never got heard

My lovers teeth are white geese flying above me

My lovers muscles are rope ladders under my hands

We were driving home slow

My lover and I, across the long Bay Bridge

One February midnight, when midway

Over in the far left lane, I saw a strange scene:

One small young man standing by the rail

And in the lane itself, parked straight across

As if it could stop anything, a large young

Man upon a stalled motorcycle, perfectly

Relaxed as if he’d stopped at a hamburger stand;

He was wearing a peacoat and levis, and

He had his head back, roaring, you

Could almost hear the laugh, it

Was so real

«Look at that fool,» I said, «in the

Middle of the bridge like that,» a very

Womanly remark

Then we heard the meaning of the noise

Of metal on a concrete bridge at 50

Miles an hour, and the far left lane

Filled up with a big car that had a

Motorcycle jammed on its front bumper, like

The whole thing would explode; the friction

Sparks shot up bright orange for many feet

Into the air, and the racket still sets

My teeth on edge

When the car stopped we stopped parallel

And Wendy headed for the callbox while I

Ducked across those 6 lanes like a mouse

In the bowling alley. «Are you hurt?» I said

The middle-aged driver had the greyest black face

«I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t stop, what happened?»

Then I remembered. «Somebody, «I said, «was on

The motorcycle.» I ran back

One block? two blocks? The space for walking

On the bridge is maybe 18 inches, whoever

Engineered this arrogance. in the dark

Stiff wind it seemed I would

Be pushed over the rail, would fall down

Screaming onto the hard surface of

The bay, but I did not, I found the tall young man

Who thought he owned the bridge, now lying on

His stomach, head cradled in his broken arm

He had glasses on, but somewhere he had lost

Most of his levis, where were they?

And his shoes. Two short cuts on his buttocks

That was the only mark except his thin white

Seminal tubes were all strung out behind; no

Child left in him; and he looked asleep

I plucked wildly at his wrist, then put it

Down; there were two long haired women

Holding back the traffic just behind me

With their bare hand, the machines came

Down like mad bulls, I was scared, much

More than usual, I felt easily squished

Like the earthworms crawling on a busy

Sidewalk after the rain; I wanted to

Leave. And met the driver, walking back

«The guy is dead.» I gripped his hand

The wind was going to blow us off the bridge

«Oh my God» he said, «haven't I had enough

Trouble in my life?» He raised his head

And for a second was enraged and yelling

At the top of the bridge «I was just driving

Home!» His head fell down. «My God, and

Now I’ve killed somebody.»

I looked down at my own peacoat and levis

Then over at the dead man’s friend, who

Was bawling and blubbering, what they would

Call hysteria in a woman. «It isn’t possible»

He wailed, but it was possible, it was

Indeed, accomplished and unfeeling, snoring

In its peacoat, and without its levis on

He died laughing: that’s a fact

I had a woman waiting for me

In her car and in the middle of the bridge

I’m frightened, I said

I’m afraid, he said, stay with me

Please don’t go, stay with me, be

My witness «No,» I said, «I'll be your

Witness later,» and I took his name

And number, «but I can’t stay with you

I’m too frightened of the bridge, besides

I have a woman waiting

And no license

And no tail lights «So I left

As I have left so many of my lovers

We drove home

Shaking, Wendy’s face greyer

Than any white person’s I have ever seen

Maybe he beat his wife, maybe he once

Drove taxi, and raped a lover

Of mine how to know these things?

We do each other in, that’s a fact

Who will be my witness?

Death wastes our time with drunkenness

And depression

Death, who keeps us from our

Lovers

He had a woman waiting for him

I found when I called the number

Days later

«Where is he» she said, «he's disappeared/»

«He'll be all right» I said, «we could

Have hit the guy as easy as anybody, it

Wasn’t anybody’s fault, they’ll know that,»

Women so often say dumb things like that

They teach us to be sweet and reassuring

And say ignorant things, because we don’t invent

The crime, the punishment, the bridges

That same week I looked into the mirror

And nobody was there to testify;

How clear, and unemployed queer woman

Makes no witness at all

Nobody at all was there for

Those two questions: what does

She do, and who is she married to?

I am the woman who stopped on the bridge

And this is the man who was there

Our lovers teeth are white geese flying

Above us, but we ourselves are

Easily squished

Keep the women small and weak

And off the street, and off the

Bridges, that’s the way, brother

One day I will leave you there

As I have left you there before

Working for death

We found out later

What we left him to

Six big policemen answered the call

All white, and no child in them

They put the driver up against his car

And beat the hell out of him

What did you kill that poor kid for?

You mutherfucking nigga

That’s a fact

Death only uses violence

When there is any kind of resistance

The rest of the time a slow

Weardown will do

They took him to 4 different hospitals

Til they got a drunk test report to fit their

Case, and held him five days in jail

Without a phone call

How many lovers have we left

There are as many contradictions to the game

As there are players

A woman is talking to death

Though talk is cheap, and like takes a long time

To make

Right. He got a cheesy lawyer

Who had him cop a plea, 15 to 20

Instead of life

Did I say life?

The arrogant young man who thought he

Owned the bridge, and fell asleep on it

He died laughing: that’s a fact

The driver sits out his time

Off the street somewhere

Does he have the most vacant of

Eyes, will he die laughing?

A table they made and on it was laid a baby we gave and I’m so dry mud cracked

I maybe we deny where these walls won’t let go of my eyes we made a circle of

smoke on a train please same me from saying it was easy we were driving across

the bridge so slow he lost his child in the snow