Текст песни Artificial Means (Christine Lavin) с переводом

Oh, Johnny and Janie, they were the perfect married couple

But not in bed

Oh, they tried taking drugs, How-To books, even Dr. Ruth

But for all intents and purposes their love life was dead

'Til one day Janie went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique

She bought a long cylindrical thing

Now Janie is smiling, Johnny is not

Every night you can hear him sing

He says, «Our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means

You’ve grown emotionally attached to that little pink machine

Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems

'Cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means

Oh, Johnny went down to the barroom

He bought one drink, he bought two, he bought three

Oh, he moaned to the bartender, the state of his married life

Bartender said, «Hey Bud, just listen to me

So Johnny went over to the Pink Pussycat Boutique

He bought a plastic blow-up doll

Now Johnny is smiling, Janie is not

She is angry, she is jealous, she’s appalled

She says, «Our love is bein' kept alive by artificial means

You’ve grown emotionally attached to that poly-ethylene

Our relationship is not as healthy as it seems

'Cause our love is being kept alive by artificial means

Wires

(Wires)

Switches

(Switches)

Batteries

(Batteries)

Plastic

(Plastic)

Tufts of artificial hair

Who’d ever think they could replace the love

(Love)

Humans used to share?

(Humans used to, humans used to)

(Humans used to, humans used to)

Then one fateful day those batteries died

At the same moment that, that big doll sprung a leak

Johnny looked at Janie looked at Johnny looked at Janie

Oh, they both found it difficult to speak

I wish I could say they threw those contraptions away

And fell in love all over again

But Johnny taped up that hissing woman

When Janie stole the batteries from his Sony Walkman

Because their love is bein kept alive by artificial means

They’ve grown emotionally attached to those modern sex machines

Their relationship is not as healthy as it seems

'Cause their love is being kept alive, love is being kept alive

Love is being kept alive by artificial means

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