RESTAURANT MAN
No Please No Not Tonight Please No Mister — Can’t You Go —
Not Tonight — Can’t Have A Scene
ROGER
What?
RESTAURANT MAN
Go, Please Go;
You — Hello, Sir-
I Said No Important Customer
MARK
What Am I — Just A Blur?
RESTAURANT MAN
You Sit All Night — You Never Buy!
MARK
That’s A Lie — That’s A Lie
I Had A Tea The Other Day
RESTAURANT MAN
You Couldn’t Pay
MARK
Oh Yeah
COLLINGS
Benjamin Coffin III--Here?
RESTAURANT MAN
Oh No!
ALL
Wine &Beer!
MAUREEN
The Enemy Of Avenue A We’ll Stay
RESTAURANT MAN
Oiy Vey!
COLLINS
What Brings The Mogul In His Own Mind
To The Life Cafe?
BENNY
I Would Like To Propose A Toast
To Maureen’s Noble Try
It Went Well
MAUREEN
Go To Hell
BENNY
Was The Yuppie Scum Stomped
Not Counting The Homeless
How Many Tickets Weren’t Comp’ed
ROGER
Why Did Muffy--
BENNY
Alison
ROGER
Miss The Show?
BENNY
There Was A Death In The Family
If You Must Know
ANGEL
Who Died?
BENNY
Our Akita
BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita
BENNY
Mimi — I’m Surprised
A Bright And Charming Girl Like You
Hangs Out With These Slackers
(Who Don’t Adhere To Deals)
They Make Fun — Yet I’m The One
Attempting To Do Some Good
Or Do You Really Want A Neighborhood
Where People Piss On Your Stoop Every
Night?
Bohemia, Bohemia’s
A Fallacy In Your Head
This Is Calcutta
Bohemia Is Dead
MARK
Dearly Beloved We Gather Here To Say
Our Goodbyes
COLLINS &ROGER
Dies Irae — Dies Illa
Kyrie Eleison
Yitgadal V’Yitkadash (etc.)
MARK
Here She Lies
No On Knew Her Worth
The Late Great Daughter Of Mother Earth
On This Night When We Celebrate The Birth
In That Little Town Of Bethlehem
We Raise Our Glass — You Bet Your Ass To —
La Vie Boheme
ALL
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
MARK
To Days Of Inspiration,
Playing Hookey, Making Something
Out Of Nothing, The Need
To Express —
To Communicate,
To Going Against The Grain,
Going Insane,
Going Mad
To Loving Tension, No Pension
To More Than One Dimension,
To Starving For Attention,
Hating Convention, Hating
Pretension,
Not To Mention Of Course,
Hating Dear Old Mom And Dad
To Riding Your Bike,
Midday Past The Three
Piece Suits-
To Fruits — To No Absolutes-
To Absolut — To Choice-
To The Village Voice-
To Any Passing Fad
To Being An Us — For Once-
Instead Of A Them-
ALL
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
MAUREEN
Is The Equipment In A Pyramid?
JOANNE
It Is, Maureen
MAUREEN
The Mixer Doesn’t Have A Case
Don’t Give Me That Face
MR. GREY
Ahhemm
MAUREEN
Hey Mister-She's My Sister
RESTAURANT MAN
So That’s Five Miso Soup, Four
Seaweed Salad
Three Soy Burger Dinner, Two Tofu
Dog Platter
And One Pasta With Meatless Balls
A BOY
Ugh
COLLINS
It Tastes The Same
MIMI
If You Close Your Eyes
RESTAURANT MAN
An Thirteen Orders Of Fries
Is That It Here?
ALL
Wine &Beer!
MIMI &ANGEL
To Hand-Crafted Beers Made In Local Breweries
To Yoga, To Yogurt, To Rice And
Beans And Cheese
To Leather, To Dildos
To Curry Vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros And Maya Angelou
MAUREEN &COLLINS
Emotion Devotion, To Causing A Commotion,
Creation, Vacation
MARK
Mucho Masturbation
MAUREEN &COLLINS
Compassion, To Fashion, To Passion
When It’s New
COLLINS
To Sontag
ANGEL
To Sondheim
FOUR PEOPLE
To Anything Taboo
COLLINS &ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham And Cage
COLLINS
Lenny Bruce
ROGER
Langston Hughes
MAUREEN
To The Stage
PERSON #1
To Uta
PERSON #2
To Buddha
PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, Too
MARK &MIMI
Why Dorothy And Toto Went Over The
Rainbow
To Blow Off Auntie Em ALL
La Vie Boheme
MAUREEN
And Wipe The Speakers Off Before
You Pack
JOANNE
Yes, Maureen
MAUREEN
Well — Hurry Back
MR. GREY
Sisters?
MAUREEN
We’re Close
ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY
Brothers!
MARK, ANGEL, MIMI &THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, Trisexuals, Homo Sapiens
Carcinogens, Hallucinogens, Men,
Pee Wee Herman
German Wine, Turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
ALL
To Apathy, To Entropy, To Empathy, Ecstasy
Vaclav Havel — The Sex Pistols, 8BC
To No Shame — Never Playing The
Fame Game
COLLINS
To Marijuana
ALL
To Sodomy
It’s Between God And Me To S &M
BENNY
Waiter… Waiter…Waiter
ALL
La Vie Boheme
COLLINS
In honor of the death of bohemia and impromtu
salon will commence immediately following
dinner… Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap,
will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff
dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about
his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.
MARK
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular
one-night engagement at the eleventh street
lot, will sing native american tribal chants
backwards through her vocoder, while
accompanying herself on the electric cello-
which she has never studied.
BENNY
Your New Boyfriend Doesn’t Know
About Us MIMI
There’s Nothing To Know
BENNY
Don’t You Think That We Should Discuss --
MIMI
It Was Three Months Ago
BENNY
He Doesn’t Act Like He’s With You
MIMI
We’re Taking It Slow
BENNY
Where Is He Now?
MIMI
He’s Right -- Hmm
BENNY
Uh Huh
MIMI
Where’d He Go?
MARK
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet,
evocative song
(Roger picks up a guiter and plays)
MARK
That Doesn’t Remind Us Of 'Musetta's
Waltz'
COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard Will Model The
Latest Fall Fashions From Paris While
Accompanying Herself On The 10 Gallon
Plastic Pickle Tub
ANGEL
And Collins Will Recount his Exploits
As An Anarchist — Including The Tale Of His Successful Reprogramming Of The
M.I.T. Virtual Reality Equipment To Self-
Destruct, As It Broadcast The Words.
ALL
'Actual Reality — Act Up — Fight AIDS'
BENNY
Check!
MIMI
Excuse Me — Did I Do Something Wrong?
I Get Invited — Then Ignored — All Night Long
ROGER
I’ve Been Trying — I’m Not Lying
No One’s Perfect, I’ve Got Baggage
MIMI
Life’s Too Short — Babe — Time Is Flying
I’m Looking For Baggage That Goes
With Mine
ROGER
I Should Tell You--
MIMI
I’ve Got Baggage Too
ROGER
I Should Tell You--
BOTH
Baggage — Wine--
OTHERS
And Beer!
MIMI
AZT Break
ROGER
You?
MIMI
Me. You?
ROGER
Mimi