Better living through fake science
(Welcome to Ru-co labs)
The future is now and it’s freaking me out
(Welcome to Ru-co labs)
They always say consult your doctor before taking a new medicine but what the
hell do they know
Tell it like it is girl
What we got in stock?
(We got tablets, drops, patches, and shots. We got liquids that can take you
from whatever you got. Have a sip, have a slurper, if you can still swallow,
a hand full of promises even though they’re hollow)
Here at Ru-co labs we’ve worked so hard to make these drugs help you with your
strife
So check out these pills we’re tuckin
Cause honey they’re here to give you life
(Welcome to Ru-co labs YAHH!)
O M G
What? what’s wrong?
Boys don’t make passes at queens with flat asses
What can I do about it?
Say goodbye padding and hello to badonkadonk, and it makes yo ass get a lot
humps. It comes in a patch snuffed down by your snatch. If it’s a good batch
then it starts to hatch. Badonkadonk, watch out Jloe, watch out nicki,
watch out Kandy k. Cause we about to break the internet every other day
Got a new power bottom and it’s on display, it’s got its own zip code by the
way 9−0-2−1-
Ohhhh that’s a big old ass
My backside looks like a mountain pass
Badonkadonks now available on the go, in a perky powder that looks a lot like
snow. Put it in your salad or a cold ice tea
But don’t snort it up your nose this ain’t 1983
Badonkadonks
Hey sandy haven’t seen you at the club lately
Yeah well, I spent most of my summer working on my drag race audition
That’s not what I heard, I heard you’ve been poppin out at parties
You don’t mean? SANDY NO!
Used to rule the clubs but now I’m stuck at home, suffering from a case of
restless tuck syndrome. Cause when I see a stud in a tuck that’s cropped,
I can’t get in my drag cause my tuck gets popped!
But now there’s a solution made by Ru-co inc, a handy little pill that makes
your junk shrink
So easy once a month just open up your say awww, when life gets to hard just
take some flaccida
(Flaccida, flaccida)
Flaccida saved my life and now I love it oodles, even around the pit crew I
feel nothing noodles
(Flaccida)
Now illegal in 48 states
Here’s the tee about that old queen on Twitter, you know that hateful bitch
that’s always so bitter, she says that Gaga stole it all from Madonna
What’s next adopting kids from bodswanna
She wears caftans and moo moos, just like a idol, what she have in her gym bag?
Viagra and midol, kids today are down hill post Mariah, and who’s that new girl
names zendaya?
Do you suffer from bitter old queen syndrome? Ru-co labs has a spray for dat.
Trollvada spray a spritz a dab under your old under thigh and soon you’ll be
taking snapchats of your avocado toast
For the love of Cathleen turner what is happening?! HUHH oh my God,
I’m obsessed with Miley’s new single, what’s the new dating app I’m ready to
mingle, I’m gender fluid and not into labels, cutting boards and getting rid of
cable.
I don’t just sit at dinner tables anymore, I flip em. Thanks conflama
(That bitch is crazy)
I haven’t had a sip of wine in three years, why? Because now I throw it in
people’s faces! Thanks conflama
Conflama, it’s conflict plus drama. You know what that equals right?
Dolla signs. It’s what every reality Stars got, conflama I put two teaspoons
in my coffee every morning, good to the last death drop
(Conflama, find a way to pull up tonight. Conflama)
Bitch I’m from Chicago
(Conflama, won’t go home till we start a fight, Conflama)
This ain’t rupauls best friends race
(Conflama)
Go back to party city where you belong
Bitch! The song is over
Don’t you tell me when the song is over!
(Conflama, it’s working!)
What did tinderella say when she got to the ball?
Choking violently
Oh dear tinderella, why are u gaging so?
What could I do, I bit off more than I could chew. It’s my great defect,
I have terminal gag reflex
Feeling stressed, choked a distant, gag reflex is so persistent,
Ru-co labs has a potion you can drink up any ocean!
Now there’s swalloweve
(Lalalalalalalala)
Swalloweve
Swalloweve is for princesses 21 and older and does not prevent the spread of
stds, side effects include increased bitchyness, an unquenchable thirst,
lower credit scores, and total austigmization
Thanks to swalloweve I’ll be ready whenever my prince comes
(Swalloweve)
Did you see her shoes?
(Yass qwen)
Aren’t they so tacky?
(Yass qwen)
Can you stop saying that?
(Yass qwen)
I don’t think you can?
(Bitch what do you mean?)
Some queens are so annoying, they’re voices are really cloying
Repeating the same words falling out they’re lips like turds
Oh girl you got Drag mouth, it’s a bit problimary, you need to read a book like
right now, and up your vocabulary. But now there’s a fix when you come and go
south all you gotta do is put this caulk in your mouth
Caulk, as in C-A-U-L-K get your mind out of the gutter
Anyone can use it including straights, bis, and gays. It stops your loose lips
from shouting drag cliches
Side effects include but are not limited to, YASSS QWEN! Damn now I got it.
God God Get a Grip Girl, Okurrrrr
There’s a question, burns deep in my soul. One that you, can only control.
From your lips, to gods ear, there’s an answer we all need to hear.
Tell me is there, an anal option
What’s right for others ain’t right for me, what I’m asking is biology,
Rupaul is there an anal option, for me
(For me, for me, for me, for me, me too)
Five out of four doctors don’t recommend Ru-co labs
So kids just don’t drugs
Just love yoself so you can love somebody else
Can I get an amen?
(Amennnnnn)